Let food be thy medicine

04/09/2023   So I am hungry, or at least I am  thinking food will be a good way to satisfy the  semi-emptiness I am experiencing. Usually, I would go into the kitchen and feed the emptiness and would be satisfied.

Right now I am satisfied with the somewhat good nature my mind seems to be experiencing from disciplining myelf the last 4-5 days. I have stayed away from obvious  sugar products. I have not snacked the last few days with meaningless food. I have had chips with my meal a couple times. But overall a good diet. Not overly healthy with nothing but veggies and fruit, but including them in my life everyday.

So - narrowing down why I am able to resist the  kitchen visit is because I feel pretty good from my diet change and the habit of resisting is starting to form. Not craving food due to staying away from carbs which make me crave food. Food would be enjoyable, but don't want to ruin my good nature. I seem to be insulin resistant, intolerant of carbs and I feel bad after consuming them.

I use to go to the kitchen as a habit. Now I stay away as  a habit. The benefit is going to be and is already starting to be health, a clear mind and energy to look at life with a positive outlook.

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.

04/13/2023   I am sure that food is medicine. I am  experiencing it and have experienced it in the past. Right now I have an enlarged prostate, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, insulin resistance, low libido, neuropathy in my feet, very bad eyes (light sensitivity, glare when I look at people, trouble seeing print).

I have been more faithful than ever with eating. I am experiencing healing in every aspect. I am also taking supplements to address my issues. I will post them soon as I am healed.

I have had a couple cokes. Very little cheating otherwise. Intermittent fasting from 11 hrs to 20. Mostly about 12 hours so  far.

Mankind is basically evil. From slavery for self-gain to the greed of the rich and suppression of the poor. Do not expect anybody except your mom/dad to love you unconditionally. Maybe your grandparents. I am not bitter - just stating facts. Don't trust anyone, except maybe for that one in a million, amazing close friend. Most likely they will not be true under certain circumstances.  Many will be great to you but no one like family. But hearts change in the world and people cannot be.

11 07 24   We do not have control of our actions. Our brain controls us. Do we control our brain? I often do not have it in me to not follow what my brain tells me I want. That chocolate. Sex. Getting off my butt and doing something. I have not been in control of my eating and my brain tells me to sit. Exertion is not in any way my desire. Maybe the food choices have made this hard in that I choose pleasure. Now my body doesn't want movement. It is so much easier to sit. I am bound to making sure a friend is ok, after back surgery. That has taking away my freedom. Food satisfies my emptiness of not being able to do much. That combined with not being disciplined, which is hard in that I don't feel good about life in this scenario is making it hard to eat right. Overriding my bad desires takes saying no. Often in the past I said no because I felt so good and knew how it would make me feel if I chose that hamburger. Maybe that chocolate? But one piece of chocolate usually didn't affect the way  I felt. The hamburger almost always did. But could I stick to one piece of chocolate, or did it lead me to eventually spiralling out of control . I know sometimes I just was tired of being disciplined. I needed that one meal that wasn't healthy. Then, I was heading for the wrong decisions almost or not almost, but every time from that one decision, in that one meal. Then it becomes this little cheat. And now this one. And eventually I am controlled by my desires for bad food, because of the gratification it gives.

01 04 25  Not taking care of my friend and I still do not eat right. AGAIN, no movement is desired.

I do not realize how screwed up my life is without having had a family. I see friends with kids and I don't realize what a difference that is. Your whole life has responsibility and now you have blood that belongs to you living on. This blog is not that insightful. My main realization is how awkward I must look to others being single. I should realize my handicap. Humble myself. HUMBLE MYSELF. Humility has no expectations. Is not high minded so accepts others unconditionally. Thinks of others, rather than self. Quit feeling sorry for myself. OVercome rejection.

011925   Goint to start a reformation of me. I need to purify my mind, body and soul. Eat right, get out of the pleasure trap of food. Move. Stretch. Lift. Improve my mind. 

Today was a failure. I had to get food out of the fridge that would spoil. My desire was 60% not strong. Tomorrow I plan on no eating so that when I do choose a food it will be a treat. I am in a bread state right now. Eat a lot of bread. Sugar is an addiction that will require misery to get over. I need to feed my self vitamins - water. I usually know fasting is required. Right now it is just a memory than fasting is required. No real motivation.